If you’re thinking that the wedding is the only event you’ll be attending, we’ve got a surprise for you! Yes, your wedding day will be the biggest event of them all, but there are still other parties and occasions that lead up to your big day. According to Filipino (and a bit of American) tradition, you’ve got eight more reasons to celebrate! Yup, you read that right–eight. Don’t freak out though, it’s not a rule that you should have all of them. Just choose which ones you’ll want to have–no pressure!
You just got engaged! What’s the first thing you do? Call your family and tell them the good news, right? But what about after that? Going along with Filipino tradition, a pamanhikan comes next. This is when the families of the bride and groom first meet. Your families are going be an important part of your wedding, and getting everyone acquainted with each other is a nice first step to having a smoother wedding.
When do you have it: 1-3 weeks after your engagement
Who plans it: Usually, the groom’s family
Who’s invited: The family of the bride and groom
Now that you got engaged, wouldn’t you want to celebrate? This is why engagement parties exist! It’s the chance for you guys to make your engagement a public announcement to your family and friends. (Pssst, it’s also, another chance for you to party!)
When do you have it: 1-2 months after your engagement
Who plans it: Usually, the engaged couple plans it themselves, or they rope in the Maid of Honor (if you already have one) to be in charge of it.
Who’s invited: Everyone! Besides close family, friends, members of your entourage (if you have already decided), the engagement party is a chance for you to invite everyone and anyone–including your work mates and neighbors.
Here’s a fun even you won’t want to miss out on–the shower! Traditionally, only the bride has a shower, but more recently, some couples have decided to share one together. The shower is a chance for close friends and family to shower you with gifts in preparation for your upcoming marriage.
When do you have it: 1-3 months before the wedding day
Who plans it: The Maid of Honor, with help from the bridesmaids
Who’s invited: Close friends and family of the bride and/or couple. Showers are usually intimate gatherings ranging from 10-20 people.
The bachelor party is basically a celebration of your last few weeks of being single. It doesn’t need to be a party per se, but can also be an outing, a dinner, or an activity that the groom enjoys.
When do you have it: 2-4 weeks before the wedding day
Who plans it: The Best Man and groomsmen
Who’s invited: Close friends and family of the groom (usually male)
Like the bachelor party, the bachelorette party serves the same purpose. You can also choose to make your party interesting by doing something different such as bowling or having a karaoke night, or by choosing a cool theme like your favorite movie or TV show, or even a vintage tea party theme!
When do you have it: 2-4 weeks before the wedding day
Who plans it: The Maid of Honor and bridesmaids
Who’s invited: Close friends and family of the bride (usually female)
Wedding planning is a long and tiring journey, and this event is a way to say thank you to the women who have stood by your side from the beginning until the end. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a luncheon, you can have a spa day, exercise, or even plan an out of town trip as a way of saying thank you.
When do you have it: 1-3 weeks before the wedding day
Who plans it: The bride
Who’s invited: The Maid of Honor and the bridesmaids
This Spanish-turned-Filipino tradition is an event where the family of the bride gives the bride away to the family of the groom. It’s not so much a physical giving away, but a more emotional one. In other instances, the despedida de soltera signifies the bride saying goodbye to her single life. And, it’s also another chance for the bride and groom’s families to meet and interact with one another.
When do you have it: 1-3 weeks before the wedding day
Who plans it: Usually, the family of the bride
Who’s invited: Close friends and family of the bride and groom
Before your wedding, there’s usually a ceremony rehearsal that happens that includes the members of your entourage and close family members. And when you’ve got all these special people together, it makes sense that you’ll want to have a meal or two with them afterward, right?
When do you have it: 1-7 days before the wedding day
Who plans it: The couple themselves or the wedding planner or coordinator
Who’s invited: The members of the entourage, the officiant, the parents and close family of the bride and groom
So there you have it, ladies! The eight events that lead up to your wedding. Of course, you don’t have to have all of them. You can just choose the traditions and events you would like to have, and celebrate those with the people who mean the most to you. Enjoy the wedding planning, and all the events that come with it!