Let’s get one thing out of the way: Not everyone dreams about their wedding day. And that’s totally normal. While some people have vision boards filled with color palettes and centerpiece inspo, others are just trying to figure out how to get through the “I do” part without losing their minds—or their budget.

If you’re someone who’s just not that into wedding planning, here’s a pressure-free guide to help you pull it off with sanity and joy intact.

First things first: why are you having a wedding? Is it for family? For a meaningful moment with your partner? Or just for legal paperwork and a good meal? There’s no wrong reason, but figuring out your “why” helps shape everything else. Once you know your purpose, you can cut through the noise and focus on what really matters.

Not into garter tosses? Skip it. Hate the idea of being the center of attention? Do a cozy, private ceremony. Your wedding = your rules.

Not every part of wedding planning deserves your energy. If you couldn’t care less about linens, lighting setups, or bouquet types, own that. There’s no shame in saying, “I don’t really care what the napkins look like.” Let the people around you who do care have fun with those details.

No need for 12 bridesmaids, a fog machine, or a 5-tier cake if that’s not your thing. Simplify where you can and focus on the moments, not the fluff. A brunch wedding is easier and often cheaper. A backyard affair can feel more personal. A city hall elopement followed by a dinner with your closest friends? Still iconic. Minimal planning, minimal fuss, still very married.

Introverted? Make it small. Not into dancing? Skip the program. Hate public speaking? No need for a toast. There are no wedding police checking whether you hit all the “standard” elements or not. Build a day that matches your comfort zone and personality. A wedding should feel like you, not like a stage show you’re forced to star in.

You don’t need to love every part of planning to still have a great wedding. Let someone else take the reins on things that don’t excite you, such as flowers, seating charts, or playlists. Chances are, someone in your life genuinely enjoys this stuff. Give them a general vibe (like “no pastels” or “chill, not cheesy”) and let them run with it. You focus on the parts that matter to you—like your vows, your outfit, or the food.

Weddings bring out a lot of opinions from relatives, friends, even strangers online. But if someone says, “You have to do it this way,” you’re allowed to smile and say, “Actually, we’re doing it our way.” You’re not staging a gala. You’re celebrating a relationship. That doesn’t require fireworks or a choreographed dance unless you want them.

The internet is overflowing with wedding checklists, inspiration boards, and timelines. They can be helpful, but they can also be totally overwhelming if you’re not excited about planning in the first place. Pick one or two tools or guides if you need help organizing, but don’t feel like you have to follow every “must-do” you find online.

If you’re not into weddings, odds are you’re not into suffering for aesthetics either. Wear shoes you can actually walk in. Skip the corset if it makes you cranky. Don’t choose a venue you hate just because it looks good in photos. When you’re comfortable, you’re more relaxed. And when you’re relaxed, you actually enjoy yourself. Comfort leads to confidence, and confidence makes for really good memories!

Maybe you want to walk down the aisle to a Studio Ghibli score. Maybe you’d rather have pizza than filet mignon. Or maybe you want to get married in your living room in front of your dog. Do it. The best weddings are the ones that feel personal, not perfect. You don’t have to be a “wedding person” to have a meaningful, fun, and unforgettable celebration.

Just because you’re not into weddings in general doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy pieces of the experience. Maybe you love writing your vows. Maybe you’re really into what you’ll wear. Maybe you’re lowkey excited about the food tasting. Let yourself enjoy those moments without feeling like you’re suddenly becoming a “bride-zilla” or “groomzilla.” You’re still allowed to have fun.

A wedding is one day. Marriage is the real adventure. Don’t let the stress of table arrangements or pressure from Instagram distract you from what really matters: Starting a life together. Plan what you need, skip what you don’t, and center everything around what feels true to you both.

You don’t need to be excited about peonies or champagne towers to have an incredible wedding. You just need to be excited about your partner. That’s it. Everything else is extra. So plan your day the way you want to—and know that even if you’re not “into weddings,” you can still create something meaningful, beautiful, and 100% yours.