Tying the knot soon? If you’re going through the traditional Catholic wedding process, you’re likely to encounter both a Pre-Cana seminar and a Canonical interview. Having been through it myself, I understand that these steps can feel a bit daunting and scary to some extent, because you have no idea what to expect. Now, I understand that not all experiences are the same, but allow me to share mine in hopes of helping to calm any nerves you might have.

The Pre-Cana seminar is an important part of Catholic marriage preparation, and it’s designed to make sure that couples are thoroughly prepared for their lifelong commitment. Many are surprised to learn that these seminars can be quite extensive, often taking a whole day or in some cases, spread over several sessions.

You’ll find yourself among other couples, which honestly creates a supportive environment where you can openly discuss a range of critical topics. Topics often include financial management, living arrangements, plans for children, handling conflicts, and more. That being said, prepare to share and introspect. You’ll introduce yourselves and get into discussions that might challenge your perceptions and expectations. It’s a safe space to explore your future together with guidance from experienced facilitators who can offer valuable insights into married life.

More importantly, Pre-Cana seminars delve into the spiritual dimension of marriage and emphasizes its significance as a sacred covenant before God. You’ll spend time reflecting on what the sacrament of matrimony means, how your faith fits into your life together, and why it’s important to keep your relationship grounded in prayer. It’s a reminder that you and your partner are starting a spiritual journey together and not just signing a contract.

Remember those retreats in high school where you’d sit around in a circle and share your reflections? It felt a lot similar to that. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, because these discussions are meant to provoke thought and dialogue about aspects of marriage that you and your partner might not have considered deeply enough.

If I’m being completely honest, the Canonical interview was more intimate and personal than I could’ve anticipated. I understand that every church is different, too, and the process may vary from one couple to another, but here’s what generally happened to ours.

Typically, both partners are interviewed separately and then together. This is what we did, and I think this approach helps the priest understand each person’s perspective independently first, before the dynamics of the couple together.

Expect to answer serious questions about your decision to marry, your understanding of marriage, willingness, and readiness. Questions often cover topics like children, conflict resolution, reasons for choosing to marry, and whether there is any coercion involved in the decision. Some questions were repeated from the pre-cana seminar, but they’ll probably also throw in some tougher, more personal questions that might catch you off guard if you’re not prepared.

I wish I can remember more of what were asked of us, but some of the ones that stuck to me were on the lines of what you think are parents’ obligations to children, how do you plan on introducing your children to God, and more importantly, if you are entering marriage willingly and if you’re being coerced in any way or pressured to go through with the ceremony.

Some of the more sensitive questions will address potential challenges in your relationship. You might be asked how you would feel about continuing with the marriage if your partner struggled with issues like substance abuse or sexual health. Another could be whether you have any health conditions that might impact your physical relationship. And don’t worry, these questions are just meant to make sure you’re both fully aware of and ready to handle any difficulties that could arise in your marriage.

It’s perfectly normal to feel emotional during this interview. I actually found myself tearing up a bit—so bringing along some tissues might be a good idea! Remember, the goal of the interview is not to judge but to ensure that both partners are making a fully informed and consensual commitment.

The best advice I can give is to be honest and not be afraid of these discussions. Understand that the facilitators and interviewers are there to help you, not to pass judgment. They want to see your marriage succeed and are there to support you in laying a strong foundation.

Given the depth of the discussions, it’s also wise to prepare mentally and emotionally. Consider discussing topics with your partner beforehand so that you’re not caught off-guard during the sessions.

Remember, every couple’s experience might differ slightly based on their facilitator and specific church requirements, but the essence of the preparation is consistent. So take these sessions seriously, engage fully, and use them as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship even before you say “I do.”