What causes the most tension during the wedding planning process is usually the guest list. Primarily because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and you’d much rather avoid stirring up drama between you and your parents. There are also certain personal circumstances for each couple that make drafting your guest list quite complicated. As always, we’re here for you! We want nothing more than to help make your wedding planning journey a more enjoyable and hassle-free experience. So, here’s a quick guide with five tips for making your guest list minus the stress and the conflicts. Read on!
Chances are your and your partner’s guest lists combined will be much higher than what you expect or budget for. That’s why it’s a good idea early on to identify who will not be part of the guest list. But who exactly do you cut? Here are some recommendations: 1. Friends you haven’t spoken to nor connected with in more than a year; 2. Family members you don’t talk to and don’t visit; 3. Friends of your parents whom you don’t know; 4. Plus-ones you’ve never been introduced to.
Remember that your wedding is a day to spend and celebrate with people you love and have witnessed your relationship grow. Don’t feel obligated to invite old friends whom you haven’t met up with since graduating from college five or so years ago or relatives who are MIA from your lives.
Having an A-list and a B-list of guests is quite a common practice. I thought it was quite smart to have a priority list of invites because should any of your A-list invitees decline, then someone from your B-list can take their place. But here’s the thing, you’re then creating a waitlist as if your wedding is a university entrance exam some people fell short passing. Imagine how these people would feel if they somehow found out they were just your second choice? Try to commit to just one list of your preferred guests, then set a deadline for RSVPs. This brings us to the next tip.
Follow-up on guest confirmations as the RSVP deadline draws near. Pick up the phone if the deadline has already passed and you still haven’t received an answer. This way, you’ll know for sure who will give a clear yes or no to attending your wedding. Then, you can inform your caterer right away about changes to the headcount.
There are a couple of ways to divide how many guests to invite between you, your partner, and your parents from both sides. But first, set a specific number of total guests. Afterwards, you can consider dividing the allocation in four equal parts. Another is for you, the couple, to take 50% of the guest list while the other half is split equally between the parents of the bride and the parents of the groom. Feel free to increase your allocation especially if you’re covering the cost of the wedding yourselves. If your parents are willing to pitch in a little more, then you can discuss increasing their personal guest count.
To help lessen the expenses, and as a way to give the moms and dads in your circle a day off, you can make your wedding an adults-only event. Another strategy is to put an age limit such as only kids above ten years old will be invited. It would be good to explain your reason for this like wanting to maintain the solemnity of the ceremony. You can also opt to only include the kids who are part of your entourage, and their parents of course.
There you have it! We hope these tips will help you out as you create your guest list, brides and grooms. If you need some more expert advice, you can check out our article on how to manage your parents guest list according to wedding coordinators. Happy wedding planning!