It’s Christmas! It’s so amazing to finally celebrate with everyone we love again. The reunions, the food, and getting to spend this special holiday with your soon-to-be, you can’t help but be so grateful.
Reunions mean lots of catching up, too. There’s just one downside. As we all know, attending Christmas parties can come with having to field challenging questions from curious (dare I say, nosy) relatives. You know what the common ones are, but how do you handle questions specific to your wedding?
Let’s talk about what questions to anticipate and how you can answer them with grace! Read on.
If I could charge even one peso per weight question, I think I’d be rich! Can you relate? It won’t be a surprise if this is the first question you’ll receive. It could also be followed by comments such as: “Oh, hinay sa pagkain baka hindi na magkasya gown mo!”
How do you respond? Try saying, “There’s still some time to alter my gown if it’s needed, but it’s really nothing to worry about po. Let’s just enjoy all the Christmas food.”
Expect curiosity about the guest list and people giving their two cents like, “Dapat inimbita mo si…” They could be referring to a Tito or Tita whom you haven’t seen in a while, but some assume they’re invited for the sole reason that they’re your relatives. If the person they mention is invited to your wedding, then you can simply say “Yes, they are invited.” If they are not, you can answer by saying: “We chose to limit our guest list due to budget restrictions, but we hope we can bond or meet with them over dinner some time.”
It’s quite common for your family members to expect that certain cousins or nieces and nephews will be part of the entourage. Some might even question your choices by saying, “Bakit si (name) hindi mo kinuhang bridesmaid?” It can be awkward if said cousin is right there at the party, too. So, how do you clear the air? You can be open by telling them that you only want a few people in the entourage and you’ve selected people to represent different groups — work colleagues, friends from school, and family. You can also mention that you divided the entourage members equally between your side and that of your partner’s or that you simply want your relative to enjoy the wedding day as a guest instead of worrying about entourage tasks. Don’t forget to add that every guest is special to you whether they have a role or not. Their presence on your wedding day is still very valuable.
While this kind of question doesn’t necessarily have to come off as rude, it’s the intent behind it that can be off-putting sometimes. If this question makes you a bit uncomfortable, you can keep your answer brief and just say you are paying for the wedding with some help from your parents, if they are contributing. No need to go into the specifics. If you’re willing to be more open to share the breakdown of your expenses, you may do so as well. But don’t feel obligated to fully feed their curiosity.
Some relatives fast forward to your plans after the wedding by asking when you plan on having kids, and pestering you about giving them an apo right away. Much like the previous questions, you can be as open and honest about this as you want. If you plan on having kids shortly after the wedding, then you can go ahead and share this with them. If you’re planning on waiting, then you can say something along the lines of, “We’d like to spend a few years getting to know each other as husband and wife first before we think of having kids.”
And there you have it! Just remember, dear brides and grooms, that these challenging questions will pass. Christmas should still be a time for you to relish this season as an engaged couple and to excitedly look forward to your future together.
Merry Christmas from your friends at Bride and Breakfast!