After planning a wedding filled with a rollercoaster of emotions and unforeseen changes, a serene and stress-free honeymoon is definitely well-deserved. But what comes after the romantic getaway to paradise? Say hello to the unique challenges of moving in together and building your first home! Get ready to learn new things about your partner (and vice versa) and get to know each other on a much deeper level. There will definitely be some adjustments, a lot of communication, and setting of a few boundaries. Sounds a little intimidating? There’s no need for it to be! We’re here with our survival guide to moving in together, told from the perspective of a newlywed husband and wife. Hope these tips somehow help other newlyweds like you learn the ropes of how to happily ever after!
One of the major changes from an engaged couple to a married one is utility bills and household expenses. In order to ease the transition, it’s important to have some level of transparency with your finances even before you move in together. Talk about income sources, debts, as well as your financial goals. You should also discuss what strategy you’d like to try when it comes to your joint expenses. Will one person be taking the lead in paying the bills or will you split costs as they come and do your accounting at the end of the month? There’s no one correct answer! Just remember that talking about money doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. Keep the conversation going and work out any issues you face together as a team.
Gone are the days when cooking and cleaning duties fall solely on the shoulders of the Mrs. If he enjoys experimenting in the kitchen, why not have him in charge of the weekly meal plan? If she’s feeling nauseous from morning sickness, why wouldn’t he step up to the challenge of cleaning duties? You can always aim for a fair division of chores and responsibilities, but expect that there will be days your significant other needs you to lighten their load. Another crucial lesson to remember is that while physical moving in to a new space is a challenge, what’s more important is making your first house into a home. Take your time and enjoy nesting together. It takes two to create a space that is uniquely yours and one you look forward coming home to.
After that brief honeymoon period, you’ll start to notice little quirks that bother you. Always remember that you grew up in different households with their own unique ways of doing things. Let the other person know when something bothers you, but don’t expect them to change every single one of their habits for you. It would also be smart to pick your battles. When your spouse is having a tough day, it might not be the best time to remind them about leaving their dirty socks on the floor again.
A common cause of conflict with newlyweds is a difference in expectations when it comes to time. Now that you live together, it may seem a little overwhelming spending so much time with each other. This is why it’s important to maintain relationships with family and friends and continue the hobbies you enjoyed pre-nuptials. How you allocate your time in a day is also highly dependent on your personalities and where you are in life. Schedule me-time when you feel the need to recharge or plan for an afternoon get together with friends if your spouse needs some time to catch up on work. As always, communication is key in finding what works best for the both of you.
Don’t take each other for granted just because you live together now. Schedule date nights or activities you can do and enjoy together. Do show up and be present, versus distractedly scrolling through your phone all night. Make your plans together a priority and something you can both look forward to after a busy week. There will be some weeks more difficult than others, but as long as you remind each other of your why’s, you will soon find your groove. It may take a lot of love and almost as much compromise, but it is definitely worth it when you realize you’re living your own personal happily ever after.