How to Happily Ever After: A Survival Guide to Moving in Together after the Wedding

After planning a wedding filled with a rollercoaster of emotions and unforeseen changes, a serene and stress-free honeymoon is definitely well-deserved. But what comes after the romantic getaway to paradise? Say hello to the unique challenges of moving in together and building your first home! Get ready to learn new things about your partner (and vice versa) and get to know each other on a much deeper level. There will definitely be some adjustments, a lot of communication, and setting of a few boundaries. Sounds a little intimidating? There’s no need for it to be! We’re here with our survival guide to moving in together, told from the perspective of a newlywed husband and wife. Hope these tips somehow help other newlyweds like you learn the ropes of how to happily ever after!

On Finances  She Says: Talk about money openly and as often as needed.

He Says: Have a joint account and separate personal accounts. Agree on how much you will both contribute to live comfortably and it's up to you how you manage the rest.

One of the major changes from an engaged couple to a married one is utility bills and household expenses. In order to ease the transition, it’s important to have some level of transparency with your finances even before you move in together. Talk about income sources, debts, as well as your financial goals. You should also discuss what strategy you’d like to try when it comes to your joint expenses. Will one person be taking the lead in paying the bills or will you split costs as they come and do your accounting at the end of the month? There’s no one correct answer! Just remember that talking about money doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. Keep the conversation going and work out any issues you face together as a team.


On Chores and Responsibilities  She Says: It can't always be an even division. Some days you do the heavy-lifting, while your partner does on others. 

He Says: Each person has chores and responsibilities they prefer doing more than the other. You just have to keep learning until you find the right balance. 

Gone are the days when cooking and cleaning duties fall solely on the shoulders of the Mrs. If he enjoys experimenting in the kitchen, why not have him in charge of the weekly meal plan? If she’s feeling nauseous from morning sickness, why wouldn’t he step up to the challenge of cleaning duties? You can always aim for a fair division of chores and responsibilities, but expect that there will be days your significant other needs you to lighten their load. Another crucial lesson to remember is that while physical moving in to a new space is a challenge, what’s more important is making your first house into a home. Take your time and enjoy nesting together. It takes two to create a space that is uniquely yours and one you look forward coming home to.


On Adjustments and Communication She Says: Always communicate how you feel. When something's bothering you or you don't understand why things are done in a different way, be open-minded and talk about it. 

He Says: It's important to be understanding and empathetic. You are both going through something new and it won't always be easy. 

After that brief honeymoon period, you’ll start to notice little quirks that bother you. Always remember that you grew up in different households with their own unique ways of doing things. Let the other person know when something bothers you, but don’t expect them to change every single one of their habits for you. It would also be smart to pick your battles. When your spouse is having a tough day, it might not be the best time to remind them about leaving their dirty socks on the floor again.


On Time Allocation She Says: Be clear about how much time you expect to spend with each other, your respective families, friends, hobbies, and other things. Don't just expect and set yourself up for disappointment.  He Says: It depends on what stage you are in life. Priorities and schedules can change quickly. You need a solid foundation in your relationship, so you don't get too bothered by it. 

A common cause of conflict with newlyweds is a difference in expectations when it comes to time. Now that you live together, it may seem a little overwhelming spending so much time with each other. This is why it’s important to maintain relationships with family and friends and continue the hobbies you enjoyed pre-nuptials. How you allocate your time in a day is also highly dependent on your personalities and where you are in life. Schedule me-time when you feel the need to recharge or plan for an afternoon get together with friends if your spouse needs some time to catch up on work. As always, communication is key in finding what works best for the both of you.


On Your Relationship  She Says: Always find time for each other. You might be "together" 24/7, but quality time is the real game changer.  He Says: Don't rush into it. Ignore the pressure to be "the perfect couple" instantly. Your relationship is a work-in-progress and it's okay to take your time in the process.

Don’t take each other for granted just because you live together now. Schedule date nights or activities you can do and enjoy together. Do show up and be present, versus distractedly scrolling through your phone all night. Make your plans together a priority and something you can both look forward to after a busy week. There will be some weeks more difficult than others, but as long as you remind each other of your why’s, you will soon find your groove. It may take a lot of love and almost as much compromise, but it is definitely worth it when you realize you’re living your own personal happily ever after.


Looking for more relatable content for newlyweds? Check out our articles on Lessons Learned After the Wedding and Money Management Tips for Newlyweds.


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