It’s no secret that planning a wedding can be quite time-consuming and even stressful at times. As you start preparing for your big day, you might get caught up in making sure everything turns out as perfect as you dreamed it to be. But amidst the hustle and bustle of booking the best suppliers and dealing with everything that comes with a wedding, it’s important to remember what the point of it all is: your union! Your engagement should be more than just a transition phase between dating and marriage. It should be a time where you prepare for the lifelong commitment you’re about to make with your partner. Whether you’re excited, impatient, or even nervous for this next step, building a strong foundation as a couple is an essential but underrated aspect of being engaged. To help all you soon-to-weds, we’re sharing 10 ways you can deepen and strengthen your bond as you plan your wedding!
While it’s typically the bride who takes charge of planning the wedding, making decisions with your groom can help you two grow closer together! You’ll learn how to work together and even learn more about each other in the process. Because your wedding day is for the both of you, it’s important to make sure there will be no unnerving surprises especially when it comes to things like the budget, guest list, and program. Your groom can even help out with the little things too! It makes the wedding more meaningful, a true symbol of your love together.
Finding a shared interest is a fun way to spend more time together because it takes your mind off wedding planning, while also strengthening your bond. If you already have a shared hobby, make time for it. If you don’t have one yet, there are plenty of options out there for you to explore! It can be something as simple as a television show or movie genre you both like watching. It can also be a sport, a creative endeavor, or any sort of passion project.
We’ve all heard that when you marry someone, you also marry their family, and this statement holds true. You’ll become a part of each other’s family, and so it’s important to make time to get to know each other’s in-laws. While you’re at it, have talks about your childhoods and upbringings. Don’t underestimate the value of knowing each other’s history—it can help you understand each other’s tendencies (and even quirks) on a deeper level!
As you plan for your life together, keep the conversation flowing, but don’t just focus on the upcoming wedding. Have honest conversations to make sure you’re on the same page about the important things like money, kids, and your careers. Talk about your future as individuals and as a couple, and share your bucket lists too. It’s also essential to discuss your values to see where you might align and differ. In the near and far future, you’ll see how having these discussions early on pay off!
Like anything else in life, your marriage will come with ups and downs. The two of you are a team, so it’s vital that you figure out how to deal with disagreements. There’s no need to actively seek out conflict, but should a disagreement arise, use it as an opportunity to work together in resolving it. You’ll see how you each respond to conflict and you’ll be able to build a stronger foundation together.
Whether it’s other couples you’ve just met or friends who have been by your side for years, surround yourself with kind and honest people who can help you grow—both individually and as a couple. These are the people who will offer you support, advice, and companionship as you move into the next stage of your relationship. This goes without saying, but be good friends to them too!
With all the stress that may come with wedding planning, don’t skip out on all the other special moments you two could be having. Get dressed and do something together: you can order in, cook together, go out, or try something new. Whatever it is that you choose to do, just make sure to have some quality face-to-face time! If wedding planning makes you stressed, try to discuss topics other than your upcoming nuptials and instead focus on having a good time.
Despite what you might think, counseling isn’t just for couples with problems. Through counseling, you’ll be able to share any worries and concerns you may have, with a professional to guide you through the process. Many churches also have seminars for engaged couples where you can reflect on and strengthen your relationship together, while also interacting with other couples. To take it a step further, you can even join a faith community together to keep you spiritually grounded.
Boundaries, limits, and privacy differ from person to person, including you and your partner! Get to know and respect each other’s boundaries, even when it comes to little things. For instance, you might want to learn how your partner prefers to be treated when upset. Or you might need to talk about how much personal time and space each of you need. You can also consider discussing boundaries for friends and family, so that you can find the balance between having your own lives as individuals and having a life together as a couple.
One thing to keep in mind is that the way you give and receive love may not always be the same as the way your partner does. For example, you might buy an expensive gift to show your gratitude when all your partner really wants from you is a heartfelt thank you! Knowing each other’s love language will help you understand how to successfully show appreciation to one another. At the end of the day, the two of you will be able to remain grounded in love, building a strong relationship for the journey ahead!