So, he wants to elope and you want a traditional wedding? Join the club—the reality of this conversation is actually a lot more common than you might think! One thing you have to remember is that it doesn’t have to be one way or the other. The whole point is to marry two different perspectives and that includes varying definitions of a dream wedding. It might seem like an impossible task given the stark differences of an elopement and a “traditional” wedding, but love conquers all, don’t you agree? We definitely do! Keep on reading for our simple steps on what you can do next. We are rooting for you and will be here every step of the way!
It’s easy to get carried away by emotions. It takes much more effort to discuss what made you feel that way in the first place. There’s no time like the present to get to know each other better and practice respecting your opposing views. Whether it’s because of family drama or because of monetary concerns, understanding his why will equip you to make better decisions. It will also help you come up with a valid case and appropriate suggestions when you’re looking for ways to meet in the middle.
Despite any strong oppositions you may have, remember that you are partners and the wedding is about the both of you. Ask him what he envisions for the big day and don’t discount his feelings. Encourage him to share his dreams and brainstorm ways to marry them with yours. It’s also important to listen to the words that are left unsaid. There might be some important feelings he needs some help to unearth.
You may think it’s unnecessary, but trust us, it makes a difference. Make it clear that it’s not about a show you want to put on or other people’s expectations you want to meet. Rather, share the traditions you’ve been dreaming of since you were young and all the plans you’ve made with your family for the big day. Maybe it’s your dad walking you down the aisle or it’s dancing with your aunts and grandma at the reception, they’re both valid reasons. You never know, really seeing how happy it will make you make just be the key to changing his mind.
Have you started talking about your family and career goals? Do talk about them and consider the impact of delaying your marriage a couple of years. Marrying later also means starting a family when you’re a little older and building your home a little later. This may or may not align with the future timeline you have in mind, so it’s best to plan and prioritize.
Compromise, but don’t settle. You should both be happy with the decision you end up making. It might not seem possible at first, but be patient and trust the process. Compromise can be a better place than where you started. It can look like an intimate guest list, a private ceremony followed by a crowded reception, an all-out five-star honeymoon, or so many other things. Compromise can be whatever you make it. Don’t be constrained by tradition or expectations. Get creative and you’ll find a way to make it a dream come true for the both of you!