Marriage is a wonderful thing. Spending the rest of your life with the person who knows you best, makes you a better person, and will be by your side no matter what, is amazing. But, we all pretty much know that marriage isn’t easy either. It’s a work in progress that requires both you and your husband to actively work on your relationship. So, I decided to do some research and find out what causes married people to argue. But before I get to it, please know that I don’t mean to be assuming. (Every couple is different!) What I’ll be sharing with you today are the common issues married couples fight about as described by a clinical psychologist.
As a married couple living in the same household, you’re bound to talk about finances at one point or another. This is a reality you will have to face. Problems will usually arise if one person doesn’t understand the other when it comes to spending money. If one person thinks that the other is spending too much or too recklessly, try to set a common ground. Talk about your negotiables and non-negotiables, and set up a budget. Transparency is key when it comes to money. You wouldn’t want to ever keep your expenses a secret.
The main issue concerning kids is how to discipline them. How should you tell your kids that they did something wrong? Talk to them about it? Ground them? Having grown up with different parenting styles, it’s quite natural for you to have different opinions when it comes to discipline and raising your kids. You might not understand where your significant other is coming from because you haven’t experienced it yourself. But just like settling the issue of finance, you must set ground rules for this. Maybe, try and compromise–find the best of both parenting styles and adapt it to your own kids.
Intimacy is an important part of any marriage. Usually, the problem ensues once one person thinks that they aren’t as intimate with their partner anymore. It is understandably more difficult once the kids come in and work days get longer, and it’s easy to forget your partner’s needs. But, that’s no excuse to neglect your partner. You have to make sure that you spend quality time with each other. Set aside an hour during the day, or even one whole day during the week, just for yourselves. And please, don’t forget to talk about your needs!
Love has many forms. Sometimes the way someone perceives affection isn’t the same way the other person sees it. (It’s helpful to check the Love Language test if you can.) As a married couple, there are plenty of different opportunities one has to be able to show affection. Make sure to take the time and make the effort to always show your love even in the littlest things. I suggest you talk about it as well. Communication is definitely key!
For most couples, the lack in communication is the root of many of their problems. So here are two things you have to remember when it comes to communication: talking and listening. Besides talking about your day, also talk about what makes you unhappy and what is bothering you. But more than talking about it, try to listen to your partner and be open to his or her ideas, thoughts, and needs.