Why Worry Over Your Wedding?

Wedding planning is fun. But sometimes, a bride-to-be can get too caught up in the details that she starts worrying and misses out on what’s really important. I just wanted to share with you a few realizations that, on hindsight, could have helped me stay grounded amidst the stress.


1 The single most important element of my wedding is already in place--the groom.

When the man of my dreams finally proposed, it was like a dream come true. However, not long after the engagement, the wedding suddenly became of paramount importance. I would find myself spending late nights on the internet, looking for visual pegs and design inspirations. From time to time, I would encounter disappointments and irritations over little things and details not panning out according to my expectations. Combine all of that with inadequate sleep, and the fuss over all the details soon impacted my mood and wellbeing.

A close friend of mine, excited about the wedding, called me up one day to ask how I was doing. I told her I was tired and stressed, and she candidly replied, “Didn’t you tell me right after you got engaged that you were just so happy to be marrying the love of your life, you couldn’t care less if you had to wear a sack down the aisle?” I was stunned. She was right. I did speak those words, and at the time, I really meant them. But I had begun to focus so much on the details that they began to strip me of my joy.

I had lost sight of the fact that I already had the most important element of my wedding--the groom.

If you are engaged to marry “The One,” then everything else is just the icing on an already sweet and sumptuous cake!


2 Our marriage is more important than our wedding.

A wedding is not the culmination of your lives together, it is just the beginning. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, adjustments in marriage are inevitable and necessary, and these become more apparent when the wedding dust settles.

Gino and I were fortunate to have gone through a series of pre-marital counseling sessions at our local church. While we had been boyfriend and girlfriend for more than four years, the sessions made us realize that there was still so much to learn about each other. And though the sessions made either or both of us uncomfortable at times–we dealt with questions such as, “Who’s going to pay for what?” and “Will you forgive your spouse if you discover him/her cheating on you?”–we knew they were necessary. We concluded the sessions with the firm conviction that we knew our partner well enough to know that we were willing to spend a lifetime with each other.

So if you have the chance to get to know your future spouse better, whether through counseling, guided conversations, and/or asking (and answering) the tough but important questions, do your future selves a favor, and take these opportunities sooner rather than later.

Your wedding will last a single day, but preparations made towards your marriage are an investment for a lifetime.


3 There is nothing I can do to change the things outside my control.

Worrying is futile. “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Luke 12:25 NLT).

A few days before my wedding, a storm hit Manila. Consequently, I received airline notifications on the cancellation of my relatives’ flights that I had already booked months earlier. I panicked and frantically endured a night of automated telephone responses before finally reaching a real person on the customer service line. Fortunately, I was able to change the bookings to the next available flights, and my relatives made it to our wedding in good time.

While I was hoping for lovely weather, I had decided early on that, rain or shine, nothing could dampen the happiest day of my life. And even though our friends and family members also prayed for perfect weather, we still prepared for the worst-case scenario of an indoor wedding. When the day finally came, the sky was blue and the sun was shining. Gino and I were wed in the garden, against the backdrop of a beautiful orange sunset.


Just because your wedding doesn’t go according to plan, doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful. Life can throw you lemons (even on your wedding day), but it’s your choice whether to keep a sour face or make a refreshing pitcher of ice-cold lemonade.

The most beautiful weddings for me are those where the couple chooses to focus on the most beautiful aspect of the wedding--their love.

With this encouragement, I pray you face your big day with neither worry nor fear, knowing that whatever falls through the cracks, and however the weather pans out, it’s going to be beautiful. Because God is at the helm, and the beauty of true love will always shine through.


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