How to Handle an Indifferent Bridesmaid

Whether her bridesmaids’ list is as short as three or as long as 10, a bride puts much thought and effort into assembling her squad. A bride means it when she says, “I can’t say I Do without you,” putting in extra effort on sending out personalized “Will you be my bridesmaid” cards or boxes, thinking of what attire they will wear from preparation to ceremony, up to blocking a specific time for photoshoots with them on her wedding day.

Most people are excited to be part of the entourage, but when a bridesmaid suddenly clams up, turns indifferent, or goes missing in action in the middle of the wedding preparations, what does a bride have to do?

We don’t want to step into a new chapter of our lives with strained friendships. That’s why in this article, we listed down ways how to handle indifferent bridesmaids. We hope this will help you clear out the air with them!

How to Handle and Indifferent Bridesmaid

Ask Her About the Tasks She Wants to Do
Scenario: Your bridesmaid is active in your group chat until you gave out the tasks and assignments.

You might have assigned a task too difficult for her to do, and she might have been overwhelmed by it in terms of resources or schedule. Ask her personally if it’s a task she’s comfortable doing, and if not, maybe she can switch tasks with another bridesmaid!

Meet Her Halfway
Scenario: You tapped her and she agreed on a task, but in the middle of it, she excused herself for having too much on her plate.

She might need a hand for the task, so better team her up with another bridesmaid to help her out! The other bridesmaid might know how to encourage her to continue doing the task for you. If she still can’t do it, then better assign her to a different wedding to-do.

Communicate How Meaningful Her Task is to You
Scenario: You asked her to sing or play an instrument for your ceremony, or host your reception program. She agreed to do it but never shows up at your scheduled meetings. Uh-oh!

Talk to her about the importance of the role you asked her to fulfill. If you hear a tinge of bailing out in her voice, be straightforward (but still tactful!) in telling her that you’re just going to hire a supplier or ask someone else to do the job if she doesn’t have the time for it anymore. Make sure this is crystal clear so there’ll be no drama on your wedding day.

Reach Out Through Your Fiance
Scenario: Your bridesmaid is a family member or a close friend of your fiancé. She won’t respond to your messages, or you feel like she’s not comfortable with you at all.

It’s time to ask your fiancé for help! With a strict timeline to follow for your wedding preparations, you can’t waste so much time running after your bridesmaids who won’t respond. We’re sure your fiancé would be more than willing to help you sort out your communication lines with his family or friends.

Confirm if She Still Wants to be Your Bridesmaid
Scenario: Your bridesmaid might not have enough means to attend your bachelorette, or to pay for the dress or hair and makeup. She clams up instead of telling you this.

Not having enough resources to pay for entourage expenses is something brides can fully understand. If the role is something your bridesmaid wouldn’t be comfortable doing anymore, respect her decision. However, if you have the means to help her out in any way you can, then go ahead and offer to assist or subsidize the expenses for her. Just make it clear that having her as part of your entourage is so important to you, that’s why you’re offering to help.

Let Her Be and Just Enjoy the Wedding
Scenario: You’ve done everything you can, but she still won’t respond to any of your calls or messages.

When the going gets tough, just ask her if she is still coming to your wedding. If her presence in the photographs will do for you, then don’t bother her in the preparations anymore, let her be, and have the best time of your life in wedding planning and on your wedding day!

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