What are the Ingredients for a Thriving Marriage, According to Husbands and Wives

They say that marriage is not a walk in the park. While this rings true to many, if not to all couples, husbands and wives can definitely find ways for their marriage to grow and last! We picked up some nuggets of wisdom from our past B&B TV episodes and listed down love notes that will help soon-to-weds prepare for their own marriage. Tell us in the comment section below which advice you find very helpful!

What are the Ingredients for a Thriving Marriage?

He Said

(Layout) On Preparing for Marriage: “You will never be fully ready for marriage.”-Paulo Valenciano

For Paolo, there will always be something that needs to be improved in every situation, may it be in finances, relationships, or career. “You just have to have the mindset of trying and the mindset of willing to hustle. Because when you set your mind to take a leap of faith and to take care of another person, it makes you ready.”

(Layout) On Conflict Resolution: Don’t "fight fire with fire." -Drew Arellano

You don’t always have to deal with issues right away. Acknowledge the fault but consider the timing of your discussion. Wait for the tension to go down if possible because when it does, you’ll get to explain your side in a better manner. You have to meet your partner in the same energy level!

(Layout) On Giving Advice to His Newly-Wed Self:  "Take notes." -Drew Arellano

Drew mentioned that it’s so important to take notes of what makes your wife happy and what makes her disappointed. This way, you’ll be more cautious and you’ll be more sensitive. You’ll know the pressure points and the happy points. Write it down and make a list so you’ll never forget!

(Layout) On Handling Finances:  Consider the money that you earn as your family's money -Paulo Valenciano

“Your wife, your kid, your helpers, they are all your responsibility, and they have a right to the money that you earn,” said Paolo. When you get into this mindset, it lessens your baggage and manages your expectations. When you get your paycheck, you’ll never think about buying something expensive for yourself first.

(Layout) On Making Your Bond Stonger:  Always make time to talk to your wife -Paulo Valenciano

“Don’t just talk. Make sure that you have that moment every week, every day if possible, where you connect with her,” said Paolo. You don’t always have to talk about big things such as the problems of the country or your own problems. It could be as simple as, ‘Why is blue your favorite color? Why is this your favorite movie?’ Even when you don’t have anything to talk about, you need to be able to keep unloading bits and pieces of your heart and your mind to your wife so that the connection will remain very strong between the two of your.

(Layout) On Keeping Your Marriage Intact:  Look up to couples you admire and learn from them -Ian Simpao

Look for mentors and couples whom you admire. Follow great marriages, too! It works just like when you want to learn a certain skill such as riding the motorcycle, singing, or playing the guitar: you look for a good instructor or an expert. You seek them out, pick their brains, ask them how they do it, and get pieces of advice.


(Layout) On Non-Negotiables: Respect your husband -Mikaela Martinez

Always take into consideration what your husband thinks and ask his opinion on things first before you decide even if you already have a decision in your head. Consult him and make sure that you reach an agreement before proceeding with any decision. “For a man, respect is really important. More than love, what they really need is respect. I feel that if we give it to them, everything follows,” said Mikaela.

(Layout) On Must-Have Qualities:  "Humor is a huge part of growing old with someone." -Janna Simpao

“You’re not always going to be beautiful. Your skin is going to sag. You’re not always going to be super sexy., But, if you know how to laugh, I think that makes a big difference in your partner’s life.”  Despite the problems that we all go through in marriage, it’s good to have a funny bone. Learn to laugh at small things and big things because it makes a big, big difference!

(Layout) On the Seven-Year Itch:  Accept all the seasons in your married life -Nikki Garcia

It’s not about the seven-year itch nor is it a sudden momentous realization. Overall, couples should accept that there will be dark, light, happy, exciting, and dry seasons in a marriage. When you do this, it’s a lot easier to get through whatever moment you’re in, or whatever doubt that you’re facing. When you go through dark or dry seasons, it’s okay. It might not happen tomorrow or next week. It will catch you by surprise but it will eventually pass and you’ll be able to start a new and exciting season again.

(Layout) On Having a Long Lasting Marriage:  Marriage is "not about taking." -Mikaela Martinez

Always ask yourself, “What can I give my husband to make things better?” The moment you demand something, you will be disappointed because you can’t control what the person will give or how he’s going to act. You married him for who he is. Don’t expect to change anything because for sure you’ll get disappointed also. Make an effort to give, rather than to take. When you do that, it’s not taking anything from your partner but adding something of value to his life.


Watch the full B&B TV episodes here:

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