If you’ve been browsing through some of our Love and Relationships articles, then you’ll know that we’ve written a couple of articles where we’ve mentioned love languages. The concept of love languages was developed by Dr. Gary Chapman. The idea is that people express and receive love in certain ways, and knowing your and your partner’s love language will make it easier for you to understand each other, and express your love better. Read on to see how we broke down each of the five love languages below!
Sometimes, actions don’t actually speak louder than words. If your love language is words of affirmation, this definitely isn’t the case. Compliments, simple “I love yous,” and “Thank yous” mean the world to you. You may be easily hurt by harsh words and insults, while kind and encouraging words can go a long way.
Helping someone, especially when you’re not obligated to, means a lot to the person whose love language is acts of service. Simple things like preparing breakfast, or helping with the chores mean a lot to you. You recognize how your partner went out of his or her way to help you, and see the thoughtfulness and love in each act of service.
Gift giving is a universal practice that is as old as time. If your love language is receiving gifts, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re materialistic. The gift doesn’t need to cost anything–it can be made, bought, or found, but you see each gift as a symbol of the heartfelt thought and effort your partner put into getting it for you.
Being with your partner means more to you than gifts, words, and actions. Just being in each others’ presence is enough. Whether it’s going on a road trip, or something simple like watching Netflix together, the time spent with your partner, and having his or her attention is equivalent to saying, “I love you.”
If you like hugging, kissing, and holding hands with your partner, then physical touch might just be your primary love language. The physical presence of your partner is crucial to your relationship, and timely and appropriate gestures such as a pat on the back, a thoughtful touch on the arm, and even a back massage are ways you communicate and acknowledge your love.
While you may actually use all five of the languages to express and receive love, each person usually has a primary or more dominant love language (and maybe even a secondary love language at that). But know that there is no right language. Each of the languages are used to communicate love, and dominance of one language depends on your personality.