When is the Right Time to Get Engaged, and Should I Worry About It?

When is the Right Time to Get Engaged? Photo: Danielle Rueda

As a little girl, I’ve dreamt of a grand wedding with my own Prince Charming, and the whole town (and animals!) attending, à la Disney movie. The idea of romance, weddings, and happily ever after get instilled early on in most people’s lives, so we naturally tend to think about it at one point. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you’ve probably entertained the idea getting engaged. And it’s not surprising, too! Getting engaged is probably one of the most momentous occasions in someone’s life, let alone the most life-changing. Signaling a progression in a relationship, it screams, “I’m going to spend the rest of my life with the person I love. I’m off the market–for good!”

But when do you know when it's time, exactly? Is there even a basis?

I’ve read a lot of love stories here at Bride and Breakfast, and the answer definitely varies. From high school sweethearts who waited until they were capable of funding their own weddings, to couples who’ve dated each other for a few months and got engaged the same year they met, there’s really no formula when it comes to these things. But there is a reason why people feel some sort of pressure about the issue. In a culture where your family plays an important role in your life, there are equally as many people who are concerned about where your love life is headed. From the time you’re “of age,” everyone starts to ask if you have a boyfriend. Once you’re in a relationship, they start asking when you plan on marrying (which sometimes gets embarrassing!), and once they’ve asked around 50 times, you start wondering if your man will even pop the question.

There is a reason why people feel some sort of pressure about the issue.

Here’s what I think: everything is going to fall into place. Everyone has some kind of imaginary timeline in their heads–for example, I’d prefer to get engaged at around 28 years old–but you’ll never really know whether you’ll get to follow that or not. You might just meet the person who will sweep you off your feet, and when he asks, there’s just no other answer but a resounding yes. While you may not be sure when, you can be sure with who. There will be a gut feeling that will tell you that he is the one. Love is exciting in a way that it’s unplanned, but it’s going to be a challenging yet rewarding adventure once it hits you.

Everyone has some kind of imaginary timeline in their heads... But you'll never really know whether you'll get to follow that or not.

The right time will feel right to only the both of you. If you and your boyfriend have touched on the topic, discussed the future, and if you both feel confident in spending the rest of your lives with each other, then everything will be just fine. As long as you’re sure you’re on the same page, don’t get pressured if other people say it’s going too fast or taking so long, because the important thing is that to you, everything is just right. If you’re single, take your time and enjoy yourself. The world is a huge place, and there’s so much to see and do. Mr. Right could be out there waiting for you–but you have to take a chance and put yourself out there!

Love is exciting in a way that it's unplanned, but it's going to be a challenging yet rewarding adventure once it hits you.

Don’t worry. Chin up and smile, ladies!

 

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