When Your Bridesmaid or MOH Suddenly Becomes MIA, Here’s What to Do

It’s hard to admit that, sometimes, we experience drifting apart from our closest friends. The devastating part is that it can happen in the middle of wedding planning and that friend you’ve been drifting apart from happens to be in your entourage. We’ve heard quite a few stories about a bridesmaid or MOH suddenly going off the radar, not replying to calls or texts, but even if they do, they seem indifferent. So, a bride is left wondering what could’ve happened?

When you choose a friend to be part of your bridal party, that obviously means you have a deep bond. So, when your friend suddenly stops responding to your messages or is mostly unavailable, naturally it’s a cause for worrying. Do you keep calling them? What do you even say at this point? Should they still even be part of your entourage?

We’ve got a few pieces of advice that will hopefully give you a bit of help and clarity, dear bride! But do remember that, in the end, your wedding decisions are yours to make. So, always go for what will put you at ease and make you happy!

When Your Bridesmaid or MOH Suddenly Becomes MIA, Here's What to Do

Try to Evaluate Your Own Expectations
What are some of the things that you’d want your bridesmaid or MOH to help with? In which phases of wedding planning would you love to have their support? And ask yourself this as well: Were you able to clearly communicate your expectations with your bridal party? If the answer is no, then there might be some miscommunication that can still be cleared up here. If the answer is yes, and they’re still unresponsive, then it’s time to ask them upfront if they still wish to be part of your wedding. Do this kindly and with respect. Come from a place of understanding, and try to give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Ask about their current situation and if they’re going through any problems of their own.

Even if it hurts, or not exactly what you would’ve wanted, you may also give them the option to beg off from being part of your bridal party so that choosing to remain your bridesmaid or MOH would also be their decision.

Have a Sit Down Conversation
Before being your bridesmaid, this person is still your friend first and foremost. While this isn’t an obligation, you can try to be the bigger person. If reaching out about the wedding doesn’t get her to respond, then asking your friend out for brunch or coffee just to hangout and talk might catch their attention more. Catch-up with them and then open the conversation about what’s been going on lately so you can understand why they’re being unresponsive about the wedding. An open and honest conversation is a good step towards knowing what to do next, whether they stay in your bridal party or not, or maybe they can have a less active role and minimal contribution.

Each and every person on your squad is dear and important to you. However, if that one person is neither stepping up nor showing up at all, then know that you can always count on the rest of your friends. Delegate tasks to the people who are more responsive and are able to dedicate some of their time in helping you out with the wedding planning, should you need it. It’s best not to bring up your MIA bridesmaid or MOH woes with the rest of the bridal party so as not to make an even bigger issue out of it. Just remember to confront this problem directly with the person involved. The rest of your friends are there for wedding moral support!

Have Two People Share the Role of MOH
Typically, there are more than two people who are bridesmaids. So, you won’t have a problem with a potentially MIA bridesmaid since there are others who are already taking on the role. As for the MOH, you can also have more than one. Maybe one is a sibling or family member and the other a close friend.

If there’s a bridesmaid who has been eagerly helping you out with nearly every step of wedding planning, you might want to consider giving that friend the role of MOH and having her share the part with the MIA MOH. Clearly explain your reasons to your original MOH, which could be something along the lines of wanting another person to help with the tasks.

Accept and Move On...
After you’ve done everything you can – reaching out, an open conversation – and the problem just doesn’t seem to have a resolution, then it’s time to know when to accept the situation and move on. If you’re still okay with having your MIA friend as part of your entourage, then you can simply allow them to be there on the wedding day and participate as a member of your bridal party. Another option, if this will bring you more peace of mind, is to make the decision to remove your MIA friend from the entourage altogether. But not necessarily un-invite them from the wedding.

Strong and deep bonds between friends who have drifted apart still have the chance of recovering over time. But remember that your wedding should be a joyous and memorable occasion. This once in a lifetime milestone is one that should be filled with happy memories, shared with people who matter the most to you. So, whatever you choose to do, always come from a place of love and understanding, dear bride!

Tell us in the comments… How would you feel if your bridesmaid or MOH suddenly becomes MIA?

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