Entourage 101: Everything You Need to Know About Your Principal Sponsors

More than just the aesthetics of your wedding, what matters more are the relationships you deepen during the whole preparation process–this includes your relationships with your principal sponsors. How do you choose them? How do you ask them to be your ninongs and ninangs? How do you politely tell them what to wear? What are the things you can do to make them feel special? We listed down some guidelines on how you can build a good relationship with them, including how to approach and interact with your chosen godparents.

Entourage 101: Everything You Need to Know About Your Principal Sponsors

 

On Picking Your Principal Sponsor Line-Up: Choose people you look up to and admire.

One of the roles of a godparent is being available when you as a couple need advice, help, or guidance. It is important that early on, the people you choose are those you truly respect. Since you will usually have multiple wedding sponsors, it might be helpful to choose people whom you admire in different aspects in life. For example, you can choose a principal sponsor because you admire his business acumen, or you can choose another because she is someone you look up to in terms of faith, or even a couple whose marriage you aspire to learn from. Marriage will have different facts, and it’s good to have a variety of people you can run to.

 

On How To Ask Them To Be Your Marriage Godparents: Ask them if they are willing to be sponsors respectfully. Pay them a visit if possible.

In this day and age, when our phones are always within reach, you might find it tempting too just text or call the people you are eying for this role. And though an initial heads up via mobile is good (or even necessary), try your best to schedule a formal meeting to officially ask them to be your sponsor. A nice chat where you let them know why you chose them is also a nice gesture. To go a step further, you can prepare a few questions you want to ask them. A few examples would be asking for advice or tips on finances and budget management, communication, raising children, or best marriage practices. Remember that you are not only planning a wedding, you are actually planning a lifetime together. You might be surprised that a simple chat like this can go a long way, and it’s actually nice to hear from people who have gone through it too.

 

On Principal Sponsors' Attire: Give them a bit of freedom and flexibility

While it seems to be traditional practice to make your principal sponsors match (just like your bridesmaids), it actually isn’t required. A good way to make your godparents feel comfortable with the colors they’ll be wearing is to give them a range of colors and styles that they can choose from. That way, they get to pick out something they actually like. At my own wedding, I gave a few colors in the form of palette swatches, and requested that they choose colors that they liked. I also gave them the freedom to wear gowns they already had. The result was actually very nice, since they came in different styles and fabrics, with the colors still matching and blending perfectly.

 

On Getting Them Ready For The Big Day: Make sure they are briefed properly by your coordination team before and during the wedding.

Sending your sponsors a text message a few weeks or days before the wedding, with a short summary including the date, venue, and call time is a great way to stay organized and on top of things. Letting them know that you or your coordination team are available or a call away for any concerns, is also a good gesture on your part. A week before the wedding, you can also send out a personal message saying how excited you are to see them. And on the big day itself, make sure that there is a designated person welcoming and briefing them once they arrive. One of the common things I’ve seen in weddings that are poorly managed are clueless bridal parties in one corner. This can be a stressful matter for them, and alleviating their expectations when it comes to where to sit or stand and what to do would be a great help.

 

On Interacting with Them During Your Wedding: Make sure to personally thank them on your big day.

I know how busy you will be on your wedding day, but as soon as you have the time, personally approach and thank your principal sponsors for their presence at your wedding. Aside from taking photos, have a quick chat with them and express your gratitude. You can also ask them how they are and if your coordinator can do anything for them. I’m sure they would appreciate the gesture, knowing that you are also thinking of them.

 

On Showing Proper Appreciation: Give a token of thanks and a personal note.

This may not be a hard and fast rule, but I personally take this one as a great practice to live by. Gifts may range in value depending on what you and your partner have agreed on. But I don’t believe they should be extravagant if your budget really doesn’t permit them to be. Pick out something meaningful, practical, and beautiful. What will make it extra special are personal notes written by you and your partner.

 

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  1. Hi, what if one of our ninang wont be able to attend the wedding? Should we replace her or have a proxy or we can keep her but the marriage certificate wont have her signature and only blank?

    1. Hi Kymmie, you can keep her as your ninang. It’s your choice if you want to ask a proxy to march down the aisle for her, but you can opt to not also. For the signature, not all ninongs and ninangs sign on the marriage certificate to it’s okay. Happy planning!

  2. Hi, is it okay if my principal sponsors are of same age as mine? Technically, they are my close friends that got married first before us. Instead of listing them as secondary sponsors, we are considering them as principal. Won’t that be weird or awkward for them?

    1. Hi Eunice, that will be your call. The role of Principal Sponsors is to guide you in your marriage that’s why most of the time, they are couples who have a great deal of experience already. But if you really look up to your couple friend, then maybe it’s okay.

  3. Thank your this. It would definitely help us to choose our Ninongs and Ninangs in the best possible way and manner. ❤

  4. What are the usual practices for inviting ninongs and ninangs during COVID? My fiance and I are planning to have 3 sets, but given the limited headcount, we’re thinking of just inviting them over Zoom instead. Or do you think they will be insulted by that?

    1. Hi there! It is very common to have principal sponsors attending via Zoom these days, but do note that at least 1 pair needs to be physically present as witnesses and sign your marriage contract on the wedding day. Generally, everyone is more cautious now given the health risks and precautions that need to be taken when planning a wedding during a pandemic, but we recommend you make an effort to personally contact them and let them know of your plans and reasoning, and they will be more likely to understand. Thanks!

      1. One of my Ninangs may not be able to attend because she is currently overseas. I have asked my Tita to be a proxy for her if she is unable to attend. Should I include my Tita’s name in the program along with the other Ninangs?

        1. Hi Melissa! There’s no right or wrong answer for this one, it’s entirely up to you. You might want to include your Tita’s name to acknowledge her role in your special day and guide your host should he/she call the principal sponsors for recognition. Another option is to include both their names in this format to indicate representation: “Tita Last Name for Ninang Last Name”

  5. Hi! Few questions.

    Is it required that if my soon to be husband choose a ninong, we will get her wife as our ninang too?

    Also, is it okay if my ninong is single, early 30s? He’s one of the persons I admire because of his maturity and outlook in life. Also, he kinda volunteered too. I already ask him if its not awkward to him since he’s single and young but he told me that he already became a principal sponsor once.

    Thank you and God bless

    1. Hi Joana! It is not required to choose married couples for your ninong and ninang. It is entirely up to the couple who they want to to guide them during this next chapter. You can definitely have your ninong as a princial sponsor on your special say should you wish to. Thank you!

    1. Hi Paulette. It is not required for Principal Sponsors to give a monetary gift to the couple, but rather, the role of Principal Sponsors is to guide the couple in their marriage. Should a Principal Sponsor wish to give a monetary gift to the couple, the amount is entirely at their discretion.

  6. If I am to ask someone as a Ninong , does that mean that I need to invite his wife as Ninang/does that make his wife automatically as Ninang, too? And vice versa?

  7. Hi! What is the proper way to address the ninong and ninang if they are a couple?

    Ninong Juan & Ninang Eva Dela Cruz
    or
    Ninong & Ninang Juan Dela Cruz
    or
    Ninong & Ninang Dela Cruz?

    Thanks in advance!

  8. Hi! What if aim abroad and not able to meet personally to ask them to be Our Principal Sponsors? What to do is it okay to message them and a family member to meet them? Do I need to shoulder their transport and accom if they will be coming from Abroad or different place?

    1. Hi Daphne! If you’re not able to meet your principal sponsors personally, then a video call would do in this case. Once you’re in the same place, try to spend time with them personally then. As for shouldering the costs, this will be up to you and your partner. It’s a kind gesture to help pay for certain expenses like accommodations, but it’s not required. Hope this helps!

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